


Love, Blake

by pleasemakeitgayer



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Based on Love Simon, Bisexual Blake, Blackmail, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Ilia/Weiss is background, Lesbian Yang, No Faunus, Oblivious Blake, Outing, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-03-09 05:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18910480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasemakeitgayer/pseuds/pleasemakeitgayer
Summary: Blake Belladonna is a normal teen. She has parents who love her, friends that she can joke with and straight-As.Too bad that's the only thing straight about her because Blake Belladonna has a huge-ass secret.No one knows she's bisexual.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

_Sometimes I feel as if I'm stuck on a ferris wheel. One minute I'm on top of the world, soaring high. And the next I'm at rock bottom, having no energy to move. Over and over and over again, all day long. Because a lot of my life is great, truly. But no one knows that I’m a lesbian._

_-Ember_

_Posted at 11:15 PM_

* * *

Blake's breath caught in her throat as she read the words, once, twice, three times. If Blake was being honest, the only reason she was on BeaconSecrets- a student made website where classmates could post anonymous confessions- was because she was avoiding her calculus homework. Thank god for her hatred of calculus because _holy_ _shit_. There was another girl at school who liked girls. Just like her.

 _I have to talk to her_. The thought sprang to her mind unbidden and before she even knew what she was doing, she had clicked the email button that was attached to the post and begun typing.

 _To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_  
From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: hey

_Dear Ember,_

_I'm just like you, I have a secret. It feels like every day I'm holding my breath, waiting for the moment I get to exhale. To speak my truth. I don't really know why I'm hiding. I know my friends would be fine with it and my parents are as liberal as you can get. But, I don't know, there's always this little voice in the back of my mind whispering doubts and fears. Like I said, I'm just like you. And I've got a huge-ass secret._

_No one knows I'm bisexual._

_-Shroud_

Blake let out a shaky breath as she reread what she had written. Before the logical side of her mind could say anything, she hit send. Her computer made a whooshing sound as a notification sprang up that her email had been sent.

A beat passed and then...“Oh, shit.” Blake sprung up from her computer chair, heart racing at the realization of what she had just done. She had just told a complete stranger that she was bisexual. “Shit, shit, _shit_.”

It took a few minutes for Blake's heart to finally stop racing and her hands to stop shaking but when they did the logical part of her brain took over.

_What's the worst that could happen? They ignore you or delete your email? They prevent you from sending any emails to them? Or they could read your email and actually respond back. Wouldn't that be grand? Having someone else to talk to about this?_

This was fine, it was going to be fine. Right? Right. Blake closed her laptop and pushed in her chair. She brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas that had little dragons on them. Finally, she turned off her light and crawled into bed.

She didn't sleep a wink.

* * *

_Refresh. Refresh. Refresh._

Blake had lost count of how many times she had refreshed her email but each time she was faced with the same thing: No new emails. She knew she shouldn't have gotten her hopes up. She knew-

“Blake?” Her dad, a tall, burly man, appeared in her doorway. “You better get a move on and pick up your friends. Otherwise, you'll be late.”

She nodded, distracted by refreshing her laptop. “Right. Got it.” Her father coughed pointedly. “Hate to interrupt your search for for naked photos of, oh who's that guy? Chris something?” Blake couldn't help but snort despite the knot in her stomach at her dad's words. What was she supposed to say? “ _No, Dad. I'm emailing my anonymous gay pen pal about the fact that we both like girls. Oh, you didn't know that I liked girls. Sorry, I'm bisexual.”_

“Anyway,” her dad continued. “you better leave now. Mom already left and I'm heading out soon.” With those words, her dad turned and left.

Blake shut her laptop, pushed back her chair and got ready for school. A quick glance at her phone showed her that if she didn't hurry up, she'd be screwed. Thank goodness she already brushed her teeth and did her hair. Hastily, she pulled on a dark purple top with black jeans and tennis shoes. She grabbed her backpack and practically flew down the stairs.

“Bye Dad!” She shouted, unsure if he heard, before exiting the house. Her car was sitting in the driveway and she tossed her backpack to the ground of the driver's seat before hopping in and backing out of the driveway. Thankfully, Ilia and Sun lived right down the street and while Weiss lived a bit farther away, it was no more than a five minute drive.

She pulled into Ilia’s driveway and the dark skinned girl immediately hopped into the passenger seat with a smile.

“Hey Blake!” Ilia said, way to energetic for a Monday.

“Hey Ilia.”

Blake backed out of the driveway and headed two houses down to Sun’s house.

“Did you see BeaconSecrets last night?” Ilia asked as they waited for Sun and Blake's stomach dropped.

“Nope,” she lied. “And besides you're obsessed with that thing. It's really not healthy.”

“Oh please,” Ilia retorted. “You're one to talk Miss Stays At Home on the Weekends.” At that Blake rolled her eyes.

“I get out,” She protested. Ilia shook her head.

“Hi Sun,” Blake said as the blonde boy got into the backseat.

“Guys,” He said as a greeting. “Did you see BeaconSecrets last night? The group chat I'm in was going crazy.”

Blake groaned. Not Sun too.

“No,” Ilia said swiftly cutting him off. “What's the rule?” In the mirror, Blake saw him pout.

“No talking about BeaconSecrets until we pick up Weiss.” Sun answered solemnly. Next to her, Ilia made a sound of approval.

“Woah, woah, woah. Ilia, you were literally just about to tell me about BeaconSecrets. You are such a hypocrite!” Blake said, feigning disbelief.

“That was before I saw the error of my ways,” She protested.

Blake laughed. “Whatever. Let's just get Weiss and get our coffee.”

This had become something of a tradition for them- Blake would pick them all up and they would go to the local coffee shop for food and drinks before heading to school.

They continued on their way to Weiss's house in silence until it was broken by Blake turning on the radio. She pulled up to Weiss's house. More of a mansion, really.

Sun laughed. “Finally! Now I can tell you about BeaconSecrets!”

Blake couldn't help but sigh.

“No, listen!” Sun said excitedly. “Jaune Arc and Pyrrha Nikos were caught in the locker room. She was giving him an HJ.” The side door opened and in came Weiss, elegant as ever.

“Who was caught doing what?” She demanded, sliding next to Sun. Weiss's face morphed into an expression of disgust as Sun told her what happened.

“That poor janitor. He has to deal with a ton of shit from the students and now this? He really needs a raise. Sun cackled, “Or an HPV vaccine.”

They had reached the coffee shop and Blake maneuvered the car into the drive-thru line. “What does everyone want?” She called out.

“Regular iced coffee,” Ilia said.

“Banana muffin and water,” Sun responded.

“A regular coffee please,” Weiss said. “But replace the sweetener with-”

“-Honey,” Ilia finished, turning her head to look at her. Weiss blinked at her in surprise as a smile spread across her face. Something shifted in the air, something that Blake couldn't place. Ilia and Weiss had always been a bit hostile to each other but recently the wall they had built up began to crumble.

They only had to wait a few minutes before their order came.

“Thank you,” Blake said, shooting the worker a smile before driving off. Ilia reached across her to turn up the radio. The song playing had a good beat and catchy lyrics and Blake couldn't help but dance a bit in her seat. In the passenger seat, Ilia was doing some dance move that looked like a cross between the robot and the sprinkler. Sun was giving it his all, as much as one could when you were trapped in a car. Almost a total opposite, Weiss merely moved her head and shoulders, smiling anytime Sun bumped into her.

_I know my friends would be fine with it._

The line from her email that she had sent popped into her mind. She could tell them right now, get it over and done with in an instant. The words were on the tip of her tongue, _I'm_ _bisexual_ , but it was as if there was a wad of cotton in her mouth. She couldn't do it. She wasn't ready.

* * *

Beacon Academy, despite its outward appearance, was a rather small school. Everyone knew everyone, whether through mutual friends or brief encounters in the hall. This was emphasized by the principal. Though kind, he was almost too friendly with the students.

“Alright, usual table at lunch?” Sun asked as the four of them strolled through the hall.

“Yup,” Weiss confirmed. “Now come on. We're gonna be late for APUSH.” Sun groaned at her words, grumbling something that sound like if it would really be a bad thing. As Blake watched them go, Sun threw an arm around Weiss's shoulder.

 _Hm_.

Ilia huffed beside her and Blake turned to her in surprise. Ilia never acted like this before. Was it possible that she was jealous? Somehow, Blake could see why. She, Sun and Ilia had been friends for the majority of their lives and Weiss had only moved here and joined the friend group a few months ago.

Blake was about to open her mouth and question Ilia when the bell rang signaling the start of first period. All around her students rushed to their classes and in the chaos Ilia slipped away. But Blake remained where she was. There was something about standing still while the rest of the population moved and milled about her. It was like being part of the LGBT community, she realized. The rest of the world is moving on with their day, being able to enjoy life and kiss their significant other. But if you were part of the community, you couldn't enjoy life. You had to suppress your feelings, fake your emotions and pretend to laugh at homophobic jokes.

It was like death.

* * *

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: re: hey_

_A secret, huh? It's nice to know there's someone out there that has a similar secret. I don't want to sound blunt but am I the first person you've told? Making the post was the first time I told anyone, even though it was anonymous it was still pretty scary. When did you first realize that you were bisexual? I realized that I was a lesbian when I was about fourteen. I was at the pool with some friends and they couldn't stop ogling at the guys but I found myself staring at the girls. Kinda dorky, right?_

_-Ember_

* * *

Blake's phone buzzed on the desk and she picked it up, glancing at Ms. Goodwitch. Ms. Goodwitch did not like to see phones out, suffice to say. She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face as she looked at her phone. Ember had emailed her back. Blake immediately began composing her response back.

 _To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_  
From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: re: hey

_Dear Ember,_

_I'm really glad you responded, I was worried that I overstepped a boundary. But, yes. You are the first person I've told. As for when I realized I was bisexual? I think I always knew on a subconscious level. I just didn't want to admit it so I kept pressing my feelings down. It's only recently that I've realized that pressing my feelings down is only going to hurt me in the long run. I saw your post almost at a perfect time and well...here I am. I'm okay now._

_-Shroud_

“Miss Belladonna.” Blake's head jerked up. She found the whole class as well as Ms. Goodwitch staring at her. “Phone away, please.” Blake nodded, slipping her phone into her pocket but not before hitting send.

Later that day, during lunch, Blake found her table was more crowded than usual. She found herself seated next to Yang Xiao Long. Yang was apart of their friend group but opted to drive her little sister, Ruby, to school.

Blake's heart was beating about a mile a minute. Yang was beautiful with long voluminous blonde hair and a bright smile. She was intelligent, straight As, but also knew how to let loose. Yang was just her type. She had been crushing on Yang for a few months now.

Wait. Yellowbeauty@gmail.com. Yang was blonde and definitely beautiful. It certainly was a stretch but not unheard of. Could she have found Ember already? Could Yang be Ember?

Suddenly she felt something touch her shoulder. Blake shook her head to clear her mind and turned to the person who tapped her. Lo and behold, it was Yang. Yang was smiling and holding out a package of something. Oreos.

“Oh, double stuffed oreos,” Blake said, helping herself to a few. “My-”

“Favorite,” Yang finished, grinning sheepishly. “I remember.” Heat rushed to her cheeks and she smiled down at her lap. The gesture was a simple one but Blake was touched by it.

Yang laughed loudly at a joke that Ilia said and the sound was like music to her ears. She wanted to make Yang laugh like that.

She'd do anything.

* * *

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: re: hey_

_I'm really glad my post came at a good time even if I did feel like I was screaming into the void at the time. Like I said rock bottom. Somedays the only thing that keeps me going is that I just have the rest of junior year and then I'll be a senior and it's smooth sailing from there._

_-Ember_

Blake had just gotten home and was lounging on the couch with her laptop when she got an email notification. Immediately, Blake opened it. She read it over and started to construct a response back. It had only been a day but she was addicted to emailing Ember.

Even her parents knew that something was open. They kept commenting on the dark circles under her eyes and joking about how she must been talking with someone special.

“Is it Sun that you're always talking to? You live right down the street. You are dating right?” Her mom said over dinner one night and her dad choked.

“No. I'm not dating Sun,” Blake responded. Why did parents always have to assume that just because a guy and a girl were friends that they were dating? It was heteronormative and annoying.

“Thank god,” Her dad said. “I don't like him.” Blake laughed, shaking her head.

“He's not that bad, Dad.” She said, defending her friend's honor. She couldn't help but feel bad for Sun. He had always been polite to her parents, if albeit a bit goofy, which caused a riff between him and her father. She didn't understand it.

* * *

_To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_

_From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: re: hey_

_So you're a junior, huh? Me too. I feel the same way, even if I have no idea what I'm going to study. Maybe something pertaining to English. Math is definitely not my strong suit. You know what they say: gays can't do math. Speaking of school, college seems so far away but I am definitely feeling the pressure._

- _Shroud_

Blake hit send and settled more comfortably on the couch. Her phone dinged with several messages. She swiped open her phone to the group chat she was in with Sun, Ilia and Weiss.

_gc: dumbass thots_

_ilia: there's a new post on beaconsecrets it was posted last night i must have missed it_

_sun: ur way too invested go do ur hw_

_ilia: [sent attachment]_

_ilia: shut up sun who do you think it is_

_weiss: whoever it is clearly doesn't want anyone to know so i suggest you drop it_

_sun: weiss snapped_

_weiss: i'll snap your spine if u don't shut up_

_ilia: kinky_

Blake sighed, tossing her phone off to the side. She was too tired to deal with her friends stupidity so she did the only thing she could think to do. She pulled up YouTube and began her fifth re-watch of _Carmilla_.

* * *

Three weeks had passed since Blake had first reached out to Ember. They had been emailing nonstop about anything and everything. They bonded over shared music taste (If you don't listen to Hayley Kiyoko are you even gay?) and tv shows (Catradora will be canon it's so obvious) and all things in between. She felt as if she had known Ember all her life. Or maybe in a past life. She was a romantic like that. There's something so familiar about her but something so mysterious too, as if she had met Ember before. But that's impossible. Yet the feeling still lingers. She can't put her finger on it.

 _How have I ever existed without anyone like her to talk to?_ She asked herself late one night, while lying in bed. There was Weiss and Sun and Ilia, of course. They were her best friends. But the things she talked about with Ember were things she'd never even dream of talking about with them. This thing between them was something that ran deep.

* * *

“Guys, I have great news!” Yang placed her lunch tray down and slid into the seat next to Sun. They all looked at Yang expectantly. “So you know how Halloween is next week?” They nodded. “Well, my dad is taking my sister to New York for her birthday which means the house is free which means I will be holding a Halloween party!” Yang beamed.

The group cheered at the news and immediately began to talk all at once.

“How many people can I invite?”

“Do we have to bring snacks?”

“It is a costume party, right?”

Blake smiled to herself and pulled out her phone. She should see if Ember would want to come. She knew it was a long shot but still.

Suddenly, her phone vanished from her hands and Principal Ozpin was telling her she could pick it up at the end of the day.

* * *

The day dragged on. She found it extremely difficult to concentrate in any of her classes. It seemed as if every time she glanced at the clock, the time hadn't changed. Until, finally. It was the end of the day. Her feet pounded on the tile floor as she ran to Principal Ozpin’s office. She knocked once before entering his office.

“Excuse me, sir?” Principal Ozpin looked up from his desk and smiled.

“Ah, Blake. Come in, come in. You are here about your phone, am I correct?”

She nodded. He reached into his draw and pulled out a basket. In it sat her phone with a simple black case. She started to reach in when Ozpin coughed. Blake froze.

“Before you take it back, I want you to know something, okay? This little device isn't everything. It's okay to take a break and actually talk to people face to face. You might learn something, you understand?” Blake nodded again.

“Alright, good. You can leave now. I'll see you around!” Rolling her eyes, Blake took her phone and exited the office. Strolling down the hall toward the exit, she heard a voice shout her name and then the sound of footsteps on tile. She turned and found herself facing Adam Taurus.

Blake internally sighed before plastering on a smile. “Hey, Adam.” Adam grinned at her.

“So, I thought you would want to know that my cousin, Sienna, is bi.” _Fuck_. The impact of Adam's words crashed down on her. She spun around to face him.

“Did you read my emails?” She demanded and Adam had the nerve to look sheepish. “We have similar phone cases and your password is the same one from middle school. But don't worry I won't show them to anyone.”

Blake blinked and then anger took over. “Did you screenshot my emails or something? Are you blackmailing me?” Adam's smile only grew.

“Airdropped them to myself,” He said looking pleased.

“What do you want?” She demanded. Adam had to want something otherwise he wouldn't be doing this.

“Ah, the jackpot question,” Adam sighed. “You and Weiss Schnee are friends, correct?”

“Yes,” Blake said, shortly. “What's that got to do with anything?”

“My father's company and her father's company are at an impasse. I need to get close to Weiss, make her see the Taurus name isn't as bad as people make it.”

“You want me to bring you into my friend group and get Weiss to like you?” Adam nodded. “And if I don't, you'll what? Leak me emails? P-Post them on Beaconsecrets? Tell the whole school that I’m b- that I like-” Her voice cracked, the words stuck in her throat.

“Think carefully before you make your final decision, Blake. It won't just be your emails. The whole school will also know about your…” Adam's face twisted. “ _Friend_.”

_Fuck him. Fuck him._

Blake weighed her options. String Adam along, keeping him close to be satisfied but far enough that Weiss would be hurt, and keep her and Ember’s secret. She couldn't let Ember get hurt. Compared to the alternative there was only one choice to make.

“Fine.” It was a deal with the devil but Blake had faith that she could do it. “Yang Xiao Long is hosting a Halloween party next week. My friends and I usually meet up at Sun’s house before going to parties. I can text you the address.”

“Great,” Adam beamed. “How hard was that?” Blake scowled and stormed off ignoring Adam’s calls behind her.

* * *

Blake changed her password to her phone the second she was home. God, she hated how easy it was for Adam to manipulate her. Her heart ached to tell her parents or her friends. She shook her head. She had to distract herself so she did the only thing that made sense. The one thing that gave her joy. She opened her email.

 _To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_  
From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: halloween

_So...Halloween is in a week and my friend is throwing a party, maybe you've heard about it? Are you planning on going? Who are you dressing up as? I'm going to go as Catra. Maybe we can meet up?_

- _Shroud_.

* * *

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: re: halloween_

_Sorry, Shroud. I'm not going to the party. I'm stuck with the wonderful job of handing out candy to screaming children. I hope you have a blast at the party._

- _Ember_

* * *

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: re: halloween_

_I lied. I am going to the party and I am dressing up. I don't want to tell you who I'm going as because I don't want you to find out who I am. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me._

- _Ember_


	2. Chapter 2

Halloween had arrived and with it came the palpable excitement in the air. The pre-party get together at Sun’s house was in full effect. The get together usually involved them just eating dinner before piling into Sun’s car to head off to whatever party they had decided to go to. 

 

Sun, Ilia and Blake all lounged around outside in Sun’s backyard waiting for Weiss to show up. Blake, true to her word, had dressed up as Catra from She-ra. Specifically the gayest episode: Princess Prom. She had found an identical suit online and had made the ears and mask that framed Catra’s face herself. Ilia was dressed up as pirate, complete with a flowy white blouse, black trousers and boots. Sun claimed he was supposed to be a surfer, no shirt and board shorts but Blake was reluctant to believe him. 

 

Blake couldn't help but check her phone. She had gotten Adam's number and put it in her phone as  _ Monkey’s Asshole .  _ She had texted him directions to Sun’s house and told him to get here at 8:30. If she was honest, she had done too much. 

 

“Hey!” A voice sang and the door of the fence that surrounded the backyard swung open. Blake's eyes widen. Weiss was dressed in a light blue dress with a slit in the side that showed off her legs. Beside her, Blake noticed that Ilia and Weiss wore identical expressions- eyes wide, mouth open. 

 

“Wow, Weiss,” Ilia said, her voice breathy. “You look…” 

 

“Awesome,” Sun finished for her. “Really really awesome.” 

 

“Aw! Thanks Sun!”

 

“You're going as Elsa, right?” Weiss smiled. 

 

“I am. I figured it's time to embrace my title as Ice Queen.” Weiss said, solemnly. As Weiss spoke, Ilia slipped inside the house. “I figured it's time I stop hiding who I am and embrace myself.” This was heading too close to Blake's heart for comfort so she took that as her cue to leave and follow Ilia. 

 

Inside Ilia was munching on a handful of M&Ms. She smiled when she saw Blake. “Weiss's costume is really good, don't you think?” There was an edge to Ilia’s voice that Blake couldn't place. 

 

“Ilia...are you jealous of Weiss?” Blake asked, gently. Ilia’s hands clenched around the bowl of M&Ms. 

 

“No,” The girl said, shortly. “I'm _not_.” Blake raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

 

“Really? Because-” Her words were cut off by two things- Sun and Weiss coming inside and the doorbell ringing. 

 

“Did we invite anyone else?” Weiss asked, glancing around and Blake slowly raised her hand. “I did. I invited Adam.”

 

“What?” Weiss demanded.

 

“Blake, no,” Sun whined. “He's the worse.” 

 

Ilia's voice dropped to a hush. “Is this a Make-A-Wish situation? Is he dying? Is his last wish to hang out with us? Because no offense but that's a stupid wish.” 

 

“N-no,” Blake lied. “He's...fine.” Blake walked down the hall to the front door with her friends trailing behind her. She opened the door to see Adam dressed as Gaston. Of course.

 

“Hello, hello.” He said, his voice sickly sweet. Blake forced a smile, nodding in greeting.  _ Monkey’s Asshole.  _

 

_ “ _ Weiss,” Adam purred. “You look ravishing.” Adam winked at Weiss who shuffled behind Sun. Ilia glanced at them and folded her arms. She sighed. 

 

It was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

The car ride was...uncomfortable. Sun and Weiss were up in the front, talking happily while Adam was sandwiched between Ilia and Blake. Adam, for his part, kept trying to interject himself in the conversation up front. Ilia and Blake remained silent, occasionally shooting each other knowing looks.

 

The party was in full swing by the time they arrived. The five of them piled out of the car and headed up the walkway to Yang's house. The door was unlocked so they walked in. It was crowded and loud, the sound of people talking and music blaring. 

 

Sun tapped her on the shoulder, mimicking the action of drinking. She nodded and followed Sun. Yang was bartending and was also dressed up as…

 

“Hey, Adora,” Blake sang, her voice low and seductive. Yang looked up and her eyes narrowed. “Catra,” Yang growled in a deep voice. 

 

Oh, god. Blake almost passed out and how hot that was. Yang smiled. “Hey, Blake, Sun,” she said in a normal voice. “Nice costumes.” She winked at Blake. Blake felt he cheeks heat up. 

 

Another sign pointing to Yang being Ember. Ember had reference dressing up as Adora but wasn't sure when she could do it. Combine that with the fact that she  _ was _ at the party and it was practically foolproof.

 

“Hi, Yang. Could I get a cup?” Sun asked, nodding to the plastic red cups. “And water for Blake. She doesn't drink.” 

 

“What?” She yelped. “I drink. Now. I drink now. Hand me a cup.” Sun gave her a weird look but said nothing as Yang handed them their cups. Blake took a tentative sip and almost threw up. 

 

“Yum,” She said, weakly.

 

* * *

 

She and Sun were standing on the upper deck watching people dance below. She spotted Weiss and Ilia dancing together in time to the upbeat music. She nudged Sun and pointed them out to him.

 

“Weiss,” Sun began, slowly. “Is the most attractive girl I've ever seen.” He looked to her almost expectantly. 

 

“You...like her?” Sun nodded, a smile spreading across his face. Panic seized her. If Sun pursued Weiss, Adam would get mad and leak her emails. That was that last thing she needed. 

 

“You can't! I-I mean, it would never work out. She's seeing someone, someone older and more experienced.” Sun physically deflated, looking like a kicked puppy. 

 

“Oh,” He said, softly. Immediately, guilt welled up inside of her. “Who?” 

 

Her mind whirled. “I don't know his name,” she said at last. “But he's in college.”

 

“Oh,” Sun repeated. “Right.”

 

“Sun, I'm sorry-”

 

“No, it's okay,” He said, cutting her off, trying to smile. “I'm just gonna go inside. Eat my feelings or something.” He turned and went back in, leaving her alone with her guilt. 

 

* * *

Blake was kind of drunk. She blamed the beer pong. It had been her and Yang against Weiss and Adam. Yang had called her over, asking her if she wanted to play and how could she say no? Weiss and Adam had both been lingering nearby and so she figured it was time to start pushing them together, no matter how much the thought made her gag.

 

Blake and Yang worked well together, they found out. It was as if they could read each other's minds, anticipating where the other would throw the ball, causing them to either encourage the throw or change where they were aiming. 

 

Weiss and Adam, on the other hand, were a mess. Weiss, by herself, was a pretty decent, player but Adam was one too try and take over the game. 

 

Needless to say, she and Yang won. 

 

* * *

Blake stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her bangs were plastered to her forehead and her make was a mess but she was glowing.

 

“I'm gonna find her...I'm gonna tell her.” Blake slurred, giggling. “Adoraaa, I'm Catra. No wait. Adora, I'm Shroud. Ember, I am Shroud. Yang, it's me.” Blake laughed again before stumbling out of the bathroom. 

 

Her feet led her upstairs. In one of the rooms, she heard Yang laugh. Blake  steeled her nerves and opened the door. She was expecting Yang to be with some friends but what she found was something that made her stomach fill with ice. 

 

Adora- Yang- was making out with a short girl dressed up as Glimmer. Yang's hand was gripping at the other girl’s hair. Yang was perched on the bed and said girl was standing in between Yang's legs. 

 

The two girls broke apart the second Blake entered the room. 

 

“I'm- I’m sorry,” She stammered, trying to ignore the feeling of ice in her stomach. “I was- I was look-I’m just gonna...go.” She backed out of the room and shut the door. The last thing she saw was Yang's anguished filled face. 

 

Blake felt sober. Sober and sick. Why on earth did she think Yang was Ember? The so-called “clues” she found was just her wishful thinking and projecting. 

 

She stumbled down the stairs, rubbing furiously at her eyes, trying not to cry. The last person she wanted to see approached her and Blake didn't have the energy to pretend to be nice. 

 

“Listen, Adam. I really don't want to talk right now. This hasn't been the best night. You're just gonna have to-” Adam grabbed her arm and proceeded to vomit over her shoes. He stumbled away. The smell reached her nose and  _ she  _ nearly vomited too. 

 

“Great,” She called out after Adam, sarcastically. “Thanks. Just the perfect way to end my night.” 

 

She needed to find Ilia and get out of here. 

 

* * *

Blake carefully opened the front door. She tiptoed inside, waited for Ilia to follow and shut the door. Despite Blake feeling more sober, Ilia insisted she would drive her home and spend the night. They made it halfway up the stairs when Blake heard her mom call out from the living room. She turned to Ilia with wide eyes who mouthed “let me talk”.

 

“Hey, Ms. Belladonna,” Ilia said as she stepped into the living room. Blake's mom was sitting on the couch, holding a book on her lap. She smiled at the two of them 

 

“Hi, Ilia. How many times have I told you? Call me Kali, you're practically my daughter.” Ilia chuckled. “Hi, Blake. How was the party?” 

 

“It was-” 

 

“Aces,” Blake cut in and then slammed her mouth shut. Ilia glared at her as her mom laughed. 

 

“Alright, well, I'll let you two girls go. I bet you're exhausted.” Ilia nodded and Blake grinned. “Oh and Blake?”

 

“Yeah, Mom?” 

 

“We're gonna have a talk about you coming home drunk and covered in…” Her mom wrinkled her nose. “Vomit.” So close. 

 

“Right, sorry,” She said, lamely and the the two of them scurried up the stairs. Blake changed out of her vomit covered costume and pulled on a pair of fresh pajamas. Ilia, who had been sleeping over ever since they were kids, was already putting on another pair of Blake's pajamas. The two of them crashed on the bed. Blake gazed up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling. Sleep was just starting to come for her when Ilia spoke into the darkness. 

 

“Do you ever feel weird?” Blake's heart jumped into her throat. 

 

“Weird?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I mean, I think we all feel weird at some point in our lives, right?” 

 

“I guess. It's just that tonight. The party was fun and all but about halfway through, it seemed like everyone was sneaking off to hook up or whatever.” Her mind flashed with the image of Yang kissing that girl. “It seems like that's the norm but I'm not that type of person.” 

 

“Okay,” Blake said, slowly. “What kind of person are you?” Next to her, Ilia let out a long sigh. 

 

“I think I'm the kind of person who's destined to care so much about one person that it kills me. Dramatic, huh?” 

 

Blake knew the feeling. She knew it well. “Yeah,” she said, softly. “Me too.”

 

After that no more words were spoken and eventually Ilia's breathing slowed. Blake, on the other hand, was wide awake. 

 

Blake glanced over at Ilia's sleeping form, mulling over her words. She thought she knew who Ilia was talking about. She was talking about Sun. It made sense with how Ilia had been acting lately.

 

Blake reached over and took her laptop from where it had been resting on her nightstand. 

 

_ To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com _

_ From: blackthebeast@gmail.com _

_ Subject: complications  _

 

_ Sorry for emailing you so late but friendships are weird. Especially when all your friends are straight. It seems like they have more drama then we do. For the purpose of making this easier to understand, let's call my friends A, B and C. Anyway, my one friend A likes my friend B but B likes/liked (yet to determined after the events of tonight)  _

 

Blake winced as she wrote that. She wasn't proud of her actions. Necessary as they were, she still felt guilty.

 

_ f riend C who likes B. And I'm not really sure what to do.  _

 

_ Enough about me. How was your Halloween? _

 

_ -Shroud _

 

Her laptop chimed. Surprised, she clicked on the response that Ember had sent back. It usually took Ember a few hours to respond back, not that Blake held it against her, high school was crazy. 

 

_ To: blackthebeast@gmail.com _

_ From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  _

_ Subject: re: complications  _

 

_ That's a hard one to answer, especially as I don't know the full situation. My advice would be to let the situation play out and interfere when you feel it's necessary.  _

 

_ As for my Halloween, it had its ups and downs. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say yours was the same, seeing as you are emailing me at midnight.  _

 

_ -Ember  _

 

_ P.S. Don't apologize about the time, your emails, as cheesy as this sounds, are the one thing I look forward to every day. _

 

A huge smile spread across Blake's face as she read the postscript. She felt the same way about Ember. These emails were her safe space, away from the horribleness of life, a place where she could just be  _ herself.  _

 

Blake shut her laptop and placed it back on the nightstand before snuggling under the covers. Ember wasn't Yang, so what? She wasn't secretly emailing Yang, she was emailing Ember. 

 

And that was okay. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Blake!” She slammed her locker shut, already annoyed and turned to Adam. He looked mad.

 

“Thanksgiving is coming up soon and Weiss still isn't giving me attention. She smiles and waves but that's it. Halloween was weeks ago. I need you to get her to talk to me.” Blake rolled her eyes.

 

“Have you tried not being a dick?” She snapped. Adam's eyes narrowed and he took a step closer to her.

 

“Watch it, Blake,” He said, his voice low. “You do remember what's at stake here? If I don't get Weiss to see that my family and I would make good business partners to the Schnee Company, your emails will be leaked. I don't think you would want that. The whole school finding out that you're b-”

 

“Okay,” Blake said in a panic. “You don't have to threaten me.” _Or Ember ._

 

Adam smiled. “Good, I'll be waiting. See you around.” What a prick.

 

* * *

As luck would have had it, the perfect opportunity came up the next day at lunch.

 

“Okay, everyone,” Weiss said, leaning in. “I just got paid and was wondering if anyone wanted to go to Waffle House? It would be my treat.” Going to Waffle House was something of a tradition the group did. It started as a reward for passing a test or presenting a project but now they just went whenever they felt like it.

 

“I can't, I have basketball practice,” Sun said. “We've got a game coming up. And then Neptune wants me to help him out with his math homework.”

 

Ilia shook her head, frowning. “I have a test that I really need to study for. Chemistry is kicking my ass.” She placed a hand on Weiss's shoulder. “Sorry.”

 

“I have to take Ruby to her skateboarding lessons,” Yang said, apologetically. “Dad’s kinda a stickler about that.”

 

Weiss turned a hopeful face to Blake. “Yeah,” she said. “I'm down.” Weiss beamed.

 

“Blake is the only one I trust,” Weiss said haughtily, which caused the whole table to explode into chaos and led to them getting yelled at by a teacher.

 

Blake loved her friends. She wouldn't trade them for anything else in the world.

 

* * *

Weiss sat down at the booth across from Blake. She smiled at Blake.

 

“You're late,” Blake said but she wasn't really upset.

 

“My heinous father wanted to talk to me about the state of affairs of our company and the possible alliance with the White Fang.”

 

“Oh,” Blake raised an eyebrow. “And, uh, what do you think? About the alliance?”

 

Weiss shrugged a shoulder. “I’m definitely not the biggest fan. Both companies are corrupt.”

 

Blake opened her mouth to say something when she was cut off by Adam who was standing by their table.

 

“Weiss, Blake! Fancy seeing you two here!” His voice sounded surprised but Adam had always been a bad actor. “Weiss, scoot over let me sit.” Adam nudged Weiss to the side, who looked annoyed. Already, Blake regretted texting Adam about her and Weiss's plans.

 

A new voice spoke. “Hi, I'm Coco. I'll be your server today. Are you ready to order or can I start you off with something to drink?”

 

Blake’s jaw dropped slightly. Coco was gorgeous with short brown hair with caramel tips. Aviator sunglasses were perched on her head.

 

“W-waffles,” She stammered, immediately wanting to die. Coco laughed.

 

“Good thing we're called _Waffle_ House, huh? I recognize you. Blake Belladonna.” Her name sounded seductive on Coco’s lips. "We had history last semester.”

 

Blake felt heat rush to her cheeks as she tries to recall but to no avail.

 

“I'm-I'm sorry. I don't remember you,” She said, wincing.

 

“It's okay,” Coco smiled. “It was a big class. Don't sweat it.” Coco winked at her before collecting their orders. Blake couldn't help but stare after her. Coco had a great ass. Wait. Could she even think about things like that? Would it seem too predatory? Straight guys could say things like that without it being a big deal but bisexuals got a reputation for being a slut? Was she playing into the biphobia or was she embracing the fact that she could look a girls in a sexual light? She was bi, not a fucking phedophile.

 

Blake sighed, resting her forehead on the table. Why did things have to be so complicated?

 

* * *

“So,” Adam said, around a mouthful of pancakes. “You moved here four months ago?”

 

Weiss shot Blake a panicked look. Weiss, for her credit, had been stringing Adam along for the entire they had been there but now the conversation had taken a turn. Weiss didn't like to talk about her family.

 

“Yeah,” Weiss said, shortly.

 

“Why?”

 

“Why do you care?” Weiss shot back, annoyed. Adam raised his eyes.

 

“Fine,” she sighed. “My mother is an alcoholic and my father as done some unsavory things to my brother and I.” She reached, fingertips touching the scar on her eye. “But when presented to the court, they decided that my mother was more of a danger to us. So, my father packed us up, we left Atlas and here I am.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Adam said softly. Weiss waved a hand dismissively.

 

“I am,” Adam insisted. “I'm sorry that such a person as yourself had to go through that.”

 

Weiss's eyes narrowed. “‘A person as yourself’ What do you mean by that?”

 

“I think that you are a really cool person. Someone who others put on a pedestal, probably for most of your life. You give off an image of strength but it can't be easy having a powerful father,” Adam have a small smile. “I know that first hand.”

 

Weiss blinked in shock. “Yeah. It's not always easy. People expect you to keep up the image of the company, to go along with what my dad says and to support what's being done. My whole life I've had these beliefs pushed on me but it's not who I am. Breaking out of my father's shadow is something that, while I don't regret, was scary.”

 

Weiss had placed her hand on the table as she spoke and Adam's hand came to rest on top of it in a gesture of solidarity. Blake couldn't believe what she was seeing. Out of the corner of her eye, Blake saw Coco exit the building, presumably taking her break, typing on her phone. She stood up, following Coco, heart in her throat.

 

The sky outside has grown dark and there was a chill in the air. Blake approached Coco, whose face was lit by her phone screen, steadying her nerves before speaking.

 

“Do you remember that one this in class when Neptune dared Cardin to-”

 

“-to snort the crushed up Smarties only Cardin thought it was cocaine and he got expelled?” Coco finished.

 

The two of them shared a laugh. Coco looked at Blake with a new look in her eyes, something like respect.

 

“You know, for someone as quiet and studious as you I never would have pegged you for someone to spill secrets.”

 

Blake grinned sheepishly, shrugging. “With great power, comes great responsibility,” she said, solemnly. Coco grinned and gave her a mock salute.

 

“Anyway, my break is up, so I'll see you inside?” Blake nodded. As she walked away, Blake noted that she finished whatever it was she had been doing on her phone.

 

In her pocket, Blake's phone chimed. She took it out and saw that she had a new email from Ember. Her eyes widen and her mind whirled. Could it be? Hope lit in her chest. She had sulked over the revelation that Yang wasn't Ember but perhaps Coco was Ember? The timeframe of when Coco stepped outside and when she got the email certainly fit. Blake opened the email.

 

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_

_Subject: coming out_

 

_So I'm thinking of coming out to my dad on thanksgiving. My parents are split up, I'm with my dad majority of the time and I'm with my mom for the Holiday Break. But back to the point at hand, it'll just be my dad and my sister. Am I crazy to think about it?_

 

_-Ember_

 

_To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_

_From: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_Subject: re: coming out_

 

_No, Ember. I don't think you're crazy. I think you're crazy brave and inspiring. I wish you all the best._

 

_-Shroud_

* * *

It was dark when they finally left Waffle House. Weiss's dad had dropped her off so Blake was giving her a ride home.

 

“You know, Adam used to piss me off so much. Like in a “I want to stab him to death” kind of way but after tonight I think he's pretty cool. I mean, he totally gets what it's like to live when your dad is head of a powerful company.” Weiss chattered away, seemingly oblivious to the roaring of Blake's mind.

 

“Have you ever been in love?” Weiss's question cut through the noise in her mind and straight to her heart. Her first thought was of Ember. She cared deeply for Ember and there last few emails had definitely involved flirting. All she knew was that she had never felt the way she did when emailing Ember then when she was dating ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends.

 

“I don't know,” she finally said. “I think so.”

 

 _I think you're crazy brave and inspiring._ If Ember could do it, so could she. It was two simple words over and done with. Before she even knew what was doing, Blake pulled off to the side of the road and turned the car off.

 

Weiss turned her head to look over at her. “Blake?”

 

Her heart was racing, beating so fast that she was sure she would have a heart attack before she could even say the words. Her hands were shaking and her breath came out in short gasps. Was the car closing in on her or was it her imagination?

 

“Weiss, I'm bisexual.” It was as if a weight had been lifted off of her chest. Tears came to her eyes.

 

“Oh” was all Weiss said. _Oh? Oh?_ Was that a good “oh” or a bad “oh”?

 

“Okay.” Okay? Did that mean-

 

“Are-are you surprised?” Weiss bit her lip and shook her head. “So you knew? That I was bisexual?”

 

“ _No_ ,” Weiss emphasized.

 

“But...you aren't surprised?” Blake asked, puzzled. Weiss gave her a soft smile.

 

“Blake, do you want me to be surprised?” She paused, considering. She had so many emotions flowing through her.

 

“I don't know,” she finally said, weakly. “But you can't tell anyone. No one else knows.”

 

Weiss nodded solemnly. “I won't. I promise.” Blake let out a sigh of relief.

 

“Thanks, Weiss.”

 

Weiss poked her cheek. “I love you.”

 

 _I love you_. Something so simple but so meaningful. Blake knew all too well that it would be too for Weiss to distance herself from her now but those words were a promise. A promise that she loved her no matter what and was in it for the long run.

 

“I love you too,” Blake whispered, her throat closing up. That's when the tears began to fall. She turned and buried herself into Weiss's shoulder, sobbing. Weiss stroked her hair and murmured sweet nothings. She was crying happy tears, tears of relief. She had done it. She had done it and Weiss hadn't yelled at her or kicked her out of the friend group or told her that she had to pick a side. She just accepted it. Blake knew, deep down, that she would've but there was a tiny part of her brain that whispered what if? But she had done it, she had come out and it went better than Blake ever could have hoped for.

 

* * *

_To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_

_From: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_Subject: re: coming out_

 

_Your talk of coming out tonight inspired me. I came out tonight to one of my friends’ and it went really well. I never could have done it without. Thank you._

 

_-Shroud_

 

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_

_Subject: re: coming out_

 

_Wow! Shroud, I'm so unbelievably proud of you! You are so brave. I want to give you a hug or something. This definitely deserves a celebration. You deserve it._

 

_-Ember_

 

* * *

_Monkey’s Asshole: Good work today. Weiss definitely likes me. She even gave me her number when you went outside and just texted me. Keep it up._

 

She highly doubted that. If anything Adam bugged her until she caved and the text was probably a common courtesy. She wouldn't let Adam ruin her tonight. She was on top of the world, feeling as free as a bird. Nothing could bring her down.

 

That night Blake went to bed with a smile on her face. She felt as if she could do anything, conquer the world. Ember was proud of _her. Her._ Blake Belladonna.

* * *

Thanksgiving passed without a hitch. She and her parents cooked the food and settled down in the afternoon to eat. She had a really great time, playing games, teasing each other and laughing. Eventually, they ended up splayed out in the living room. Her dad was passed out in his chair, snoring gently. Her mother watching television and she was reading a book about a twelve year old kid who realizes he's the son of Poseidon. Juvenile, yes but Blake was obsessed.

 

Her phone buzzed on the couch with an email and Blake's nerves skyrocketing. This was the moment she would know if everything with Ember went okay.

 

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_

_Subject: re: coming out_

 

_So...I did it. And it was insanely awkward but also really freeing. Now Dad can't stop cracking jokes and my sister keeps asking if I have a girlfriend. I think you count right?_

 

_-Love, Ember_

 

Blake pressed her lips together to stop herself from screaming. Holy shit. Ember just said she was her girlfriend _and_ used the word love. Blake was a mess, an utter, lovestruck mess.

 

* * *

Weiss laughed loudly, placing a hand on Adam's shoulder to steady herself. If their lunch table was crowded before, it was ten times worse and about a hundred times more miserable now that Adam was there. Blake cast a glance at everyone. Sun was moodily picking at his food, Ilia, from her seat next to Weiss, was glaring angrily at Adam and Yang had her nose buried in her phone playing a game.

 

“-And then I said “you must be glowing.” Weiss laughed harder, nearly doubling over. Having had enough, Blake stood up from the table and headed towards the vending machine. She heard footsteps coming from behind and then Sun fell into step next to her.

 

“Can you tell me why all of the sudden Weiss finds Adam of all people so goddamn funny? And I thought she had a boyfriend.” Sun snapped, his face tight with anger.

 

“I have no idea and the boyfriend was a friends with benefits type thing," She stammered.

 

“Right,” Sun said. “Well in that case, I'm just gonna tell Weiss how I feel.”

 

“No!” Blake cried and Sun jumped.

 

“No,” she said softer. “She's clearly in love with Adam.” Sun’s face screwed up in disgust and she felt the same way as soon as the words were out of her mouth. If anything, it was clear that Weiss still harbored feelings for Sun. “I say forget about Weiss. It won't happen. And instead, focus on Ilia.”

 

Sun’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Why Ilia?” Blake scoffed. “Dude, are you blind? Have you not seen the way she's been acting? Acting all weird around Weiss? Acting jealous and shooting glares?" Sun sook his head. "Sun," Blake said, seriously. "Ilia is in love with you. She practically admitted it to me on Halloween.” She watched as Sun pondered over the words and then his expression turned to one of realization. Sun turned to look at their table as Ilia caught their eye and waved, smiling.

 

“Oh,” He said. “But why hasn't she said anything?” Blake shrugged.

 

“I don't know but now is your chance to make it right. The two of you could unstoppable together.”

 

* * *

After lunch, Blake and Ilia walked to their third period. They were both pretty quiet girls so silence was usually a given. On that day, however, Ilia broke the silence.

 

“So, something weird happened at the end of lunch. Sun took me aside and asked me out.” Ilia looked at Blake, waiting for her reaction.

 

“Oh wow,” She said. “That's awesome news, Ilia.” Ilia smiled, awkwardly.

 

“Yeah. It seems like our lives are so busy with our friend group that we don't really have time for any one on ones. Sun is one of my best friends’ and it'll be nice to reconnect our friendship.”

 

Oh, no. Unease bubbled up inside her. “But, uh, don't you think Sun is attractive?” She asked.

 

Ilia shrugged. “I mean, objectively but he's not really my type.” Well, that explained it. Not everyone could drool over blonde boys.

 

“So, what is your type?” She asked. “Tall, dark and handsome? Brave? Muscular?” Shit, what did straight people find attractive? “Abs? Good with kids? Likes dogs?” Ilia laughed.

 

“Not exac-” The bell cut Ilia off and the two of them hurried into their classroom, shooting an apologetic smile at the teacher, Mr. Port, who frowned as they entered the classroom but said nothing.

 

 _It was going to be fine_ , Blake assured herself as she took a seat and pulled out her notes. As long as it kept Ember safe, she could handle this weird love square. As long as Adam was happy, she could handle this. Honestly, she was just so tired of straight people that couldn't get their shit together that she wanted to scream.

 

 _Everything is going to be fine_ , she repeated to herself. _Everything will be fine._

 

Until the basketball game. And that's where things took a turn for the worse.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains Blake being outed. Please proceed with caution.  
> The outing happens in the section that starts with "That night after Blake and her parents went out to a fancy restaurant".

“Okay, Blake,” Weiss said as they strolled into the gym for Sun’s basketball game. “What's your type?”

 _Ember_. She didn't know what Ember looked like that was true but looks didn't matter. Ember had a great personality and they bonded well. Their Zodiac signs even showed compatibility. Ember was definitely her type. What she said was, “I don't know. I haven't really done this before.”

Weiss turned to her. “What? Be able to talk about guys and girls?” She nodded and Weiss's eyes turned sad. “Okay, well. Here's your chance.” She clapped her hands together.

“Blake, take a look around. Are any of the basketball players catching your eye? Any of the cheerleaders?” Something inside her moved and she had to hold back tears. No one had ever asked which guy or girl she thought was cute, only ever guys. Her bisexuality had never been something she'd been able to talk about in public spaces. But now she could.

Blake let her eyes roam over the court, catching on a red headed girl for a second before landing on…

“Coco.”

“Hm?”

“Coco,” Blake explained. “The girl from Waffle House.”

“Do you think-”

“I don't know.” She paused. “I'm gonna go talk to her.” As she headed across the court, she heard Weiss cheer for her and she smiled. She was only a few feet away from Coco when the girl turned, giving her a radiant smile.

“If it isn't my favorite customer,” Coco said as a way of greeting.

“Pssh. I'm sure you say that to everyone.”

“Just the cute ones,” Coco said with a grin and Blake couldn't help the blush that rose to her face. Coco’s flirting style definitely resembled Ember’s and if Coco as Ember...well Blake would find herself blushing a lot.

“You know,” Blake said, hurriedly, “You don't strike me as a basketball fan.” Coco raised an eyebrow.

“I could say the same about you.”

“My best friend, Sun is on the team,” she explained and Coco nodded. “And you?”

Coco’s face brightened. “I'm waiting on Velvet. She's part of the yearbook and she's taking some pictures.”

“Oh…” Her mind whirled. The way Coco’s face brightened, the way she said Velvet’s name. “Are you two…”

“We're girlfriends, yes. We've been dating for six months.” Blake's stomach felt as if it was filled with lead. Disappointment crashed over her in waves. It wasn't Coco.

She forced a smile. “That's great. I'm glad you guys are happy. I should probably find my friends the game is gonna start.” She turned without waiting for Coco’s response and hurried to where she saw Weiss and Ilia sitting.

Another dead end. Another wall. Blake felt disappointed. Not because she wanted it to be Coco, though at the time she did, but because she wanted to be with Ember. In person.

She shot Ilia a smile as she sat down. Weiss looked at her curiously and she shook her head mouthing the word girlfriend. Weiss's eyes widened and she nodded.

“Ilia,” Blake said, leaning over to catch the girl’s eye. “How was your date with Sun this weekend?” Ilia's face wrinkled as Weiss whipped her head to look at her.

“You went on a date with Sun?” She demanded.

Oh, no.

Ilia giggled nervously. “Not like a _date_ date,” She said tugging at her hair. “More like a friend date.”

“But it was still a date.”

“I mean, not in the traditional sense. More like-”

Blake hit them. “The game is starting. Shut up.” The two of them shut up and Blake let out a breath. She really did not want her friends to fight, especially not after her slip of the tongue. It seemed clear that Ilia was embarrassed about going out with Sun when Weiss had liked him even if Weiss was apparently developing feelings for Adam, which Blake still couldn't wrap her head around.

A monotonous voice spoke over the intercom asking everyone to stand for the national anthem. The crowd rose and a spotlight was brought down to shine on a brunette girl. As she began singing, a figure cut across the court, running directly to the girl. Blake squinted at the figure and then gasped. It was Adam.

Adam made a grab for the microphone as the girl tried to desperately hold on, making the microphone squeal with feedback. Finally, he managed to jerk the phone away from the girl.

“Hi, everyone. Sorry for the commotion.” He chuckled. “But I have an announcement to make, one pertaining to a student here at Beacon.”

It was as if a hand had wrapped itself around Blake's heart and began to squeeze. No. He couldn't. It didn't make any sense. Weiss had been showing a clear interest in him ever since that day at Waffle House. They were halfway through December, it had been a month since they met at Waffle House. Hadn't it been enough?

“Weiss Schnee, if you could come to the front.” Blake felt soul crushing relief followed by shock. She turned to Weiss and whispered, “You don't have to go.”

“Come on Weiss,” Adam sang. “I know you're here.”

“Weiss,” Ilia hissed, gripping Weiss's wrist. “Stay here.”

Weiss shook her head. “I'll make it worse if I stay here. You know how he is.” She stood up causing the crowd to cheer and hurried down the steps to the sidelines.

“There she is,” Adam said, beaming. “Weiss Schnee.” He began to walk towards her. “I have something very important to say. Our families are at an impasse, two powerful companies both wanting something. My father approached me and asked if I would use my charms and prowess to charm you and have you believe that my family name, and by association company, was good. I said yes. But what I didn't realize was that in doing so I would fall in love with you. Yes, love. From playing beer pong together to bonding in Waffle House, I have come to realize over these last few months that I love you. And I hope you feel the same?”

A hush fell over the audience, all eagerly waiting for a response.

I'm so sorry, Adam,” Weiss said, her voice small but it carried throughout the room. “I just don't feel the same.” Adam recoiled at her words. A ripple of laughter spread across the crowd.

“You...what?”

“I don't like you like that. I like someone else. I'm sorry. But...we can still be friends?” Weiss asked, anxiously, wringing her hands.

“ _Fuck_ you, Weiss Schnee. You're a selfish bitch,” Adam snarled, anger spreading across his face and he threw the microphone off to the side before storming out of the court. Weiss hurried back to her seat before sinking down.

“That was awful,” Weiss whispered. Tears flowed down her cheeks.

“It's okay. People will probably forget about soon enough. After all, this is high school. Something big is bound to happen soon.” Ilia said, gently. Ilia pulled Weiss close so that the girl's head was on her shoulder. Ilia gently wiped away Weiss's tears.

Suddenly, realization struck Blake and she felt her whole body go cold. Jumping up she raced down the stairs, ignoring Ilia's calls, and ran out of the basketball court. She found Adam in the open space outside the gymnasium, leaning with his head against the wall. She approached him, cautiously, as if he might explode.

“Adam?” She asked, gently as if she was talking to a wild animal. “Are you okay?” Adam laughed harshly, turning to her with red rimmed eyes.

“Am I okay? What sort of question is that? Of course, I'm not. I just got rejected in front of the entire school.”

“I know but-”

He cut her off. “You said this would work out. You promised. Look where I am now. Publicly humiliated. The Schnee Company will never want to work with the White Fang again. This is all your fault, Blake Belladonna and you're going to regret this.”

She reared back as if she had been slapped. “Adam, please. I had no idea that Weiss would reject you. But it's not a lost cause. You don't know for a fact that they won't want to work with you. In fact-”

“Shut up!” He roared, taking a step forward. She stumbled backwards, her back pressed against the cold tile of the wall. “It's over. The deal is off.” She froze.

“What?” She asked, numbly.

“I said, it's over,” He repeated.

“Wait,” She begged, hating herself for sinking so low. “Let me go back in and talk to Weiss. I can-”

“No.” His voice was cold. “It's done. I'm not going to release the emails right away. I want you anxious. I want you to always be looking over your shoulder, to always be checking BeaconSecrets. You won't know when but it's coming, I can promise you that.” He turned and headed for the doors that led outside. Adam paused before exiting, glancing over his shoulder.

“You know I wouldn't have to do this if you just listened. If you just behaved.”

* * *

_To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_

_From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: low_

_Do you remember your first post on BeaconSecrets months ago about how sometimes you felt on top of the world but then the next you were at rock bottom? That's how I feel right now. Rock bottom. I can't really get into the details aside from the fact that there's someone holding something over me but I could use some comfort._

_-Love, Shroud_

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_  
From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: re: low

_I'm really sorry to hear that, Shroud. I don't know the situation and I'm not going to pry but as cliche as it sounds, it will get better. You made me brave, I'm trying to return the favor. I'm here for you, you know that. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always have your back. I've attached some links to funny dog videos, that always helps me when I'm down._

_[10 links attachments]_

_Lots of love, Ember_

_To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_  
From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: re: low

_Thank you so much. Those videos really helped me. I'm still not 100% but I'm feeling better than I was. I'm so glad I can talk to you about feeling low. I can honestly say that you've seen more of me than anyone else. And honestly it's kind of scary. But I know that whatever happens down the road, there's something between. You do make me a better person, a braver person. How about we ride this bravery train and reveal our identities? I'm positively dying to know who you are._

_-Love, Shroud_

Blake knew it was a long shot. She knew it but it was worth the risk. She wasn’t the praying type but now she was praying to any and every god that she could think of that Ember says yes. She couldn’t risk having Adam out her and Ember before she gets a chance to really meet her. Selfishly, she thinks she deserves that.

It took an hour for Ember to response back and in that time, Blake alternates between refreshing her email and texting Adam trying to convince him to stand down. Her twenty increasingly frantic messages go unopened much to her dismay.

 _To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_  
From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: re: low

_I'm sorry I'm still not ready to reveal who I am. I'm working on it though. The holidays and the new year are coming up, ask me again then. I can't promise anything but I can say that my offer will stand._

_-Love, Ember_

_To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_  
From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: re: low

_I'm sorry if I made it seem like I pressuring you to reveal who you are that was not my intention in the slightest. My only intention was to be with you. I would never do anything that might make you uncomfortable._

_-Love, Shroud_

* * *

_To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_

_From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: off the grid_

_Sorry for the late notice seeing as today is our last day of school before the holidays but I wanted to let you know that my mom is taking to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with no wifi for the entirety of the holiday break so I won't be able to email you until I'm back._

_-Love, Ember_

_P.S Have I mentioned that I'm Jewish? This year it's really convenient because Hanukkah is from the twenty second to the thirtieth. So right around the same time as Christmas._

_P.P.S. Just because I'll be away doesn't mean I won't stop thinking about you. In fact, as of late, I've begun to imagine what it would be like to kiss you._

Blake blinked twice, rubbed her eyes and blinked again. Was she crazy? Was she insane? Did Ember really just admit that she fantasied about kissing her?

Holy shit. Yup, this was definitely a great Christmas present.

* * *

The following day in Creative Writing, their teacher just let them lounge around, provided that they kept the volume down.

“And that's what I'll be doing over the break,” Pyrrha finished. “Emerald?” Pyrrha looked to the dark skinned girl with hair that had been dyed green. She was slouching in her chair, messing around on her phone but sat up straight when she realized that everyone in the little circle was looking at her expectantly.

“Well,” She drawled. “I'm Jewish. So, I celebrate Hanukkah. My parents are divorced so I'm spending Hanukkah with my mom this year. For some ungodly reason, she decided to rent a cabin in literally the middle of nowhere where there's no cell service. So, joy.”

Blake choked. Pyrrha gave her a concerned look but she flashed a weak thumbs up and Pyrrha turned back to the group, focusing on a boy named Sage.

Emerald? It's not someone she would have guessed, she hardly knows her, but the pieces fit. She's Jewish like Ember which means she celebrates Hanukkah. Her parents are divorced and the most foolproof piece of evidence was the fact that Emerald was staying at a cabin, in the middle of nowhere, with no wifi. As for why Ember didn't want to reveal her identity, Emerald was known for being a bit of a rebel. And Ember and Emerald sounded just about the same.

Blake is practically glowing. She can't believe how quickly she figured it out.

But what if you're wrong? A tiny voice in the back of her mind speaks and Blake pushed it away. She couldn’t be wrong not after so many dead ends and heartbreaks.

 _I'm right._ She repeated it over and over in her head. _I’m right. I’m right. I’m right._

_I have to be._

* * *

That night as she was getting ready for bed, finally feeling the stress of not having to worry about any tests or projects or quizzes, her phone buzzed with a text. She decided to leave it be for the meantime, assuming it was her group chat, opting to go downstairs and hangout with her parents.

It feels like she hasn't seen them in ages. They decided to play a round of Monopoly which inevitably ends in a shouting match, an upturned board and a visit from their next door neighbors asking them to “please keep it down or I will have to call the police”.

Finally, after a much quieter round of Monopoly, Blake decided to bid her parents goodnight, giving them each a kiss on the cheek and headed upstairs to crawl in bed.

* * *

_The house was empty, save for her. As Blake walked from room to room she couldn't help but admire her family's handiwork of the Christmas decorations. She somehow found herself standing in the doorway that led from the dining room into the living room. Someone had hung mistletoe, she observed. Suddenly, Blake felt a light tap on her shoulder. She directed her gaze from the mistletoe to the person who had tapped her. It was Emerald._

_Emerald smiled, a bright contrast from the usual look of disinterest she wore. Emerald’s eyes flickered up to mistletoe then back to Blake. She raised an eyebrow. The unspoken question was clear as day._

_Blake reached out and threaded her fingers through Emerald’s hair. The shorter girl takes the color of Blake's shirt in her hands. Blake leaned down. Their lips are so close to touching and Blake's heart is beating a mile a minute. Blake's eyes fluttered shut and-_

Her eyes flew open and she blinks disorientedly around her room. Disappointment crashed over her in waves. It was just a dream. There's a bang on her window and her disappointment is replaced by fear. She reached out grabbing the lamp on her nightstand and pattered over to the window.

 _Three_ , _two_ , _one_. She threw back her curtains with one hand, holding the lamp aloft in her other hand. There her dad is standing on a latter trying to hang lights up. He grinned her.

“Morning, Blake!” He said, cheerfully.

“Dad,” She said, blearily. “Do you have to do this so early? Besides, Christmas is just a few days away. I think we have enough lights.”

“Where's your Christmas spirit, Blake? You can never have too many lights.” Blake rolled her eyes, smiling as she closed her curtains. Her father always tried to be the Clark Griswald of the neighborhood.

Shaking her head, Blake fell back into bed. She reached out a hand, taking her phone off the the nightstand. Her phone lit up with a notification that was from last night. The message from Adam and it sent a jolt of fear throughout her whole body.

 _Soon_.

* * *

The next few days passed in a blur of anxiety and work and before Blake knew it, Christmas Eve had arrived.

_gc: dumbass thots_

_weiss: merry christmas eve everybody!_

_sun: that's not a thing_

_weiss: it is now_

_ilia: merry christmas eve weiss! <3_

_weiss: thanks ilia! you too!_

_blake: i love you guys_

* * *

That night after Blake and her parents went out to a fancy restaurant for dinner, she was sitting at her desk in front of her laptop watching one of the funny cat videos that Ember had sent her when her phone rang. The caller I.D read Ilia. She paused the video and answered her phone.

“Hello?”

“Blake!” Ilia's voice was frantic on the other end and she sounded close to tears. “Have you seen it?”

“Seen what?” She asked, nervously. Ilia was scaring her.

“BeaconSecrets.” The floor beneath Blake's feet dropped out from under her and she felt as if she was falling from a great height. In daze, she opened up BeaconSecrets and there is was, in bright, blaring letters for the world to see.

**Attention students of Beacon High School:**

_  
Blake Belladonna has a secret pen pal/online lover. Who is a girl. But you might be wondering, hey, didn't Blake date a dude in middle school? You would be right because Blake Belladonna is bisexual. You know what they say about bisexuals? Always horny, always wanting a threesome. So, interested parties might try and contact the poor girl for a threesome._

_Sincerely, Anonymous._

Under the message were the screenshots of the very first emails that she and Ember exchanged.

“Blake?” Ilia's voice is small.

“I-I gotta go. I have to go,” She stammered, hands shaking as she hangs up the phone.

She's left with silence ringing in her ears


	5. Chapter 5

Her stomach churned with fear, making her feel as if she's going to throw up. It's like some awful, horrible hallucination or nightmare and any moment she'll wake up. But it's not a hallucination and it's not a dream. It's real and it's terrifying. Tears fill her eyes and she lets them fall.

 _Fuck_. _Fuck_. This is her own personal hell, her own apocalypse. The laptop chimed with alerts from her friends. Weiss. Sun. Ilia. Weiss. Sun. Ilia. Weiss- She slammed the laptop shut. Her phone buzzed and she sees the same messages pop up.

_Weiss: i saw the post. please call me._

_Ilia: are you okay?_

_Sun: hey, want to go for a walk?_

_Weiss: i love you_

_Ilia: let me know if you need anything_

_Sun: we're here for you_

She slammed her phone onto her desk. She just couldn't deal with them right now. She just...couldn't. There's an ocean roaring in her mind. Blake is full on sobbing. Huge, heaving sobs that leave her gasping for breath. She ran a hand through her hair counting down from a hundred.

 _100_ , _99_ , _98_ , _fuck_. She started over. _100_ , _99_ , _98_ , _fuck_. She can't do it. Pushing herself up from her chair, she stumbled to her bed, throwing herself facedown onto it. Her hands wrap around her pillow and she rolled onto her back before lashing out. Her limbs flail and she sob. She brought the pillow up to her face and let out a broken scream.

She doesn't sleep that night.

* * *

She woke up early the next morning, a hollow feeling in her stomach. She pulled up her email and began to type with weak hands.

 _To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_  
From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: Urgent!

_I know you won't see this until you get back but something has happened. Our emails have been leaked. You're gonna find out who I am. Please don't freak out, Ember, please. I need you to promise me that you won't disappear or run._

_-Love, Shroud_

She hit send, praying that she had done the right thing.

* * *

“Honey, are you okay?” Her mom asked, concerned. They've just finished opening presents, her parents sitting side by side on the couch and Blake in a chair. “You don't seem like...yourself.”

“Um, yeah. Actually there's something I want to tell you.” God, this was not how she wanted to tell. She never wanted to make it a big deal but she has no choice now. Now that she's been outed. Her parents nodded encouragingly and that gives her enough bravery.

“I'm b-” The words get stuck in her throat. She swallowed. “I'm bisexual,” she managed to choke out.

“Oh, honey,” Her mother sighed looking at her with a soft expression.

“I don't want you to think of me as any different now. I'm still me.”

“Of course you are,” Her mother said, in an earnest tone. “Right, Ghira?” She turned to her husband who merely grunted before standing.

Her father was an intimidating man to anyone who didn't know him. Many people confessed that he scared them. Blake never understood why until that moment. She only watched as her father left the room. Blake could almost hear her heart break in two.

“Blake,” her mother began but she was already up out of the chair, pulling on her shoes and jacket.

“I'm going for a run,” She said and without waiting for an answer turned and left.

* * *

She had been running for about ten minutes when someone shouted her name. She turned and anger boiled up inside her so hot that she was surprised that she hadn't exploded.

“What the _hell_ do you want Adam? You have some nerve showing up here after that shit you pulled,” She spat.

Adam raised his hands. “Look,” he began. “I'm sorry you got mad but I think what I did fair. Everyone at school kept on talking about what happened to me so I figured I would give them something else to talk about so I-”

“Decided to out me?” She demanded.

“I don't see what the big deal is. Every gay kid comes out at some point. I figured I could hurry you along in the process.”

“Hurry me along in the process?” She scoffed, fuming. “Do you even hear yourself? Coming out was supposed to be my thing. I was supposed to be the one to decide when and where and how I told, and to who I told. It was supposed to be on my terms.”

She couldn't even look at him anymore. Blake turned and began to head back home. She heard Adam's footsteps behind her.

“Blake, I'll say it again. I'm sorry that you feel this way but I really didn't do anything wrong.”

Blake had had enough. She turned on her heel, face to face with Adam. He wasn't going to change. He would keep on blackmailing and gaslighting her until he got what he wanted. But Blake wasn't going to play his game anymore. This was her story to tell.

“I'm only going to say this once, Adam.” She said with a voice of steel. “Stay the _fuck_ away from me.”

* * *

On New Year's Eve, she approached her mom. Her mom was sitting on the couch with an open book on her lap. Blake couldn't deny the butterflies in the stomach. She stood hovering in the doorway of the living room before taking a deep breath.

“Did you know?” She asked, quietly. It was the first time she had brought it up since Christmas. She watched as her mother closed her book before gesturing for her to sit down next to her. Her mother looked at her long and hard, eyes roaming over her face before speaking.

“I think,” Her mother said, slowly. “I always knew on some level.” Blake blinked, surprised.

“How?”

Her mother smiled. “As a kid you were always so bright, always running around with Sun and Ilia. You used to wear these bright colors. But over the past few years, you've changed. As if,” Her mother paused, searching for the right phrase.”As if you were holding your breath. You've grown quieter and you wear blacks and dark purples. I could tell there was something going on inside of you but I didn't want to pry. Maybe that's where I went wrong, maybe I made a mistake.”

Her mother's eyes glittered with unshed tears. Blake shook her head, fiercely. She couldn't stand the thought of her mom blaming herself. “No, Mom. You didn't.”

“Being bisexual makes this far more difficult, far more harder than a kid who was straight. I get that. It’ll make people crueler, less willing to trust you or to joke around with. But not me. Not your dad. The day you came out one of the first things you did was to reassure us, that you were still you. But I need you to hear it too, Blake. You are still you. You are the same person I’ve always hoped you would become- someone kind and brave and loyal.You are my daughter, the one I’ll always love and protect. And, Blake? You deserve everything you want.”

Blake smiled at her mom but the facade could only kept up for a few seconds before her smile crumbled and she began to cry.

“Honey,” She heard her mom whisper and then she was being pulled into a hug. She stayed there until her tears stopped. Her mother pressed her forehead to Blake's. Blake could see tear streaks on her mother’s face.

“I love you. I always have and always will.”

“I love you too, Mom,” Blake managed.

“Now, go see your father. He's in the garage and wants to speak to you.”

* * *

Silence covered them like a blanket, only broken when her dad spoke.

“How long?” His voice was no more than a murmur. “How long have you know?” Blake jerked her head up. He was looking at the ground.

“I think I've always known but I just started to get it a few years ago. Maybe when I was fourteen.”

“Years,” Her dad said. “Years of going to movies, teasing each other, reading together…” His voice trailed off and Blake felt cold. Her gaze dropped to her feet. Shit.

“I'm sorry I missed it.” She turned her gaze up to him to see tears in his eyes.

“It's okay, Dad.” He shook his head. “All those _stupid_ jokes over the years.” He trailed off.

“They were just jokes,” She protested, weakly.

“They weren't,” Her dad said. “And you and I both know it. It was ignorant of me to assume your sexuality as if I knew for a fact that you were straight. I'm sorry, Blake.”

Tears pricked at her eyes and _damn_ _it_. She felt strong arms wrap around her and she buried her head into her dad’s chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and when he spoke, his words vibrated through her.

“I wouldn't change a single thing about you, Blake. I love you.” She turned her gaze up to him and saw that he was crying as well. Tears hung on his beard and mustache.

“Thanks, Dad.” He smiled down at her lovingly and then his face lit up.

“Hey, how about we go inside and set you up on one of those dating profiles? Find you a hot chick or dude?” Blake’s face turned red.

“I appreciate the offer but I’d rather not do that with my dad,” She said, awkwardly. Her dad deflated and he looked like kicked puppy.

“Aw, c’mon. Why not?” Blake buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking with laughter. Oh, boy. This was going to be a fun conversation.

* * *

Blake stood at her window, gazing out at the neighborhood. In the dark, the houses look identical with their porch lights on and their cars parked in the driveway. The street is still and dark save for the occasionally spots of light that come from the streetlights. It's almost picturesque.

They say the eyes are the windows to the souls. Perhaps the same could be said about houses; that the windows of a house are the eyes to what a seemingly perfect family is truly like.

The window to her room was a look into her life. From the outside she appeared to be a straight-a student, albeit a bit quiet but someone who was kind and had a good group of friends. But if you peered into the window, you'd find a messy room, half finished homework assignments, a cup of cold tea and a bisexual girl who was just trying to navigate the waters of life.

* * *

 The day school resumed, Blake was lucky enough to face minimal harassing, nothing she couldn't handle. It was just dudebros being dicks, asking about threesomes and picking a side. She flipped them all off. 

She ate lunch alone that day. Irrational fear ate her insides the second she saw her table. The second she saw Weiss, Ilia and Sun laughing. No Yang, she noted before recalling that Yang had told them she wouldn't be back the first day because she was spending the break with her biological mom. Blake couldn't help but feel disappointment.

Later, Blake found herself being cornered in the hall by Ilia, Weiss and Sun after school. She had missed her bus and was waiting for her mom to pick her up.

“Blake Belladonna!” A shout came from behind her and she turned to see Sun, Weiss and Ilia all barrelling towards her. She braced herself for some horrible, angry shouting. Yet, when she got pulled into a hug by Sun, she can't help the gasp that escaped her lips. When he finally let her go, she can't help but to stare at him and then at Ilia and Weiss.

“You...you aren't mad?” She asked, hesitantly, confused.

“Of course we aren't mad,” Sun said, in disbelief.

“Blake, why in earth would we be mad?” Ilia demanded and Blake shrunk into herself.

“Because I lied to you,” She said, brokenly. “I betrayed out. I shut you out. I-”

“Stop.” Weiss's voice was cold. Blake blinked, her mouth agape. “Just answer me one question. Why did you do all of those things?”

“I- I was being blackmailed,” She said, hurriedly. “If I didn't do what Adam wanted, he would have leaked my emails and outed me.” The unspoken words hung in the air: he did that anyways. “And I am so sorry, if I had a choice I never would have-”

“Blake,” Weiss spoke again, softer this time. “We forgive you. We know you. You never would have done the things you did if you hadn't a good reason. We are sorry for not being there for you more, for supporting you. Can you forgive us?”

Blake nodded and Weiss smiled. The tension is the air healed itself and all was right again.

“Group hug!” shouted Sun, wrapping a arm around Blake, pulling her against his side. Blake threw an arm around Weiss. The three of them turned their gazes to Ilia. Ilia backed up.

“No way!” She protested, holding her hands out, backing up a few steps. “I don't do hugs.”

“Ilia, please,” Weiss said. “For Blake?” Ilia shook her head.

“Sorry, Blake. Maybe a one-on-one hug later?” There was laughter in her voice and Blake knew Ilia was teasing.

“For me?” Weiss persisted. Ilia bit her lip, turning pink.

“Ugh, okay. _Fine_. You’re lucky, Weiss. There’s a lot of things I’d do to you.” The group froze. Ilia’s face was red and Weiss, who almost never blushed, had turned a light shade of pink. Blake glanced at Sun and saw the same expression of confusion written on his face.

“I think,” Weiss said, softly. “You meant to say _for_ you.” Ilia nodded, rapidly.

“Yup, that’s what I meant,” She said, rapidly. “Okay, group hug. Yay!” Ilia practically barreled her way into their arms, causing the four of them to stumble before they regained their footing.

 _Thank you_ , Blake thought as she stood hugging her friends, surrounded by warmth and the intangible feeling of love and acceptance. _Thank you for not abandoning me._

* * *

Emerald was standing by her locking talking animatedly to a senior with long dark locks, Cinder Falls. As Blake approached she watched as Cinder leaned in close to Emerald. She heard the senior purr something about seeing the girl later. Cinder placed a hand on Emerald’s shoulder and sauntered off. Emerald stared after Cinder with a soft, longing look on her face.

“Emerald,” Blake said, standing before the green haired girl. Emerald jerked out of her daze and focused on Blake. “Is it you?” Emerald’s face filled with confusion before being replaced with something that looked like understanding and pity.

“No,” Emerald said, gently. “It's not me.” Blake nodded and waited for the rush of disappointment to come but it never did. Maybe it's because of everything that happened or maybe it's because she never truly thought it was Emerald. Either way, Blake thanked her anyway.

“And, hey,” Blake said, over her shoulder, a faint grin on her lips. “Nice catch with Cinder.” Emerald turned red and Blake couldn't help but to laugh kindly.

After school she invited Sun over to her house. Her dad was mowing the lawn when they got home but he paused to greet Sun, jovially. The usual jokes her Dad made about them dating were replaced with jokes of the fascination that Sun had when he was younger about monkeys.

The two of them were sprawled out on her bed, doing their homework when Sun broke the silence.

“Why did you tell Weiss but not me or Ilia?” Blake looked up from her homework. Sun’s face was honest and open, genuinely wanting to know. Blake sighed.

“It was easier,” She admitted. “I've only known Weiss for a couple of months. I've know you and Ilia my _whole_ _life_.” Sun poundered over her answer before nodding.

“Okay, I think I understand. But,” He said, a slow grin working its way across his face. “I want to be the first one you tell about whoever you date next.”

Blake laughed. “Deal.”

* * *

That night, Blake checked her email and was surprised by what awaited her.

 _To: blackthebeast@gmail.com_  
From: yellowbeauty@gmail.com  
Subject: you

_I saw the post. I know who you are. And I also know that if you knew who I was, you wouldn't want me. There's no way on earth you would want me. Goodbye, Blake. I'm sorry. I really am._

_-Ember_

_No_. _No_. _No_. Blake immediately began to type back, her fingers flying over the keys the same way as when she typed her email to Ember the night the emails got leaked.

 _To: yellowbeauty@gmail.com_  
From: blackthebeast@gmail.com  
Subject: re: you

_Ember, please. I like you. I like you an insane amount. I can promise whoever you are, I'll still like you. Please don't leave me._

_-Love, Shroud_

She hit send but was greeted immediately by an automatic email from Gmail that read:  _Delivery to to recipient yellowbeauty@gmail.com failed permanently._

 _Permanently_. _Permanently_. _Permanently_. The word sealed itself on the back of her eyelids, burning into her mind.

She almost expected herself to break down crying when she read those words. Instead it was worse. She felt nothing. Just an endless, empty hole.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy pride month guys, gals and nonbinary pals! I hope it's a great month and that if you don't have a s/o, you find someone!

And then, somehow, it was March. The air was warm and flowers were in bloom and the bees were buzzing. Two months had passed since Ember had blocked her from sending emails. Though, that didn't stop Blake from religiously checking her email every day and night in hopes that she would see an email from her. Every time she was met with an empty inbox and disappointment.

But she was content. Her friends treated her the same, save from the fact that they were always attempting to be her wingman and wingwomans. She found it hilarious. Her parents were more embarrassing but she knew their hearts were in the right place. Something she had to remind herself when they went out to dinner and Blake mentioned that she thought the waitress was pretty which caused them to ask for her number because, “our daughter is bisexual and thinks you're really pretty. If we're being honest, we think it's about time for her to have a girlfriend.” Blake wanted to die of embarrassment. Honestly, Blake couldn't ask for better friends or a more supportive family.

Yet, somehow, even with all the love and support surrounding her, Blake couldn't help but feel lonely. It seemed that everywhere she looked, she was surrounded by couples and people in love. Blake wanted someone to call her own, she wanted someone to date, she wanted Ember.

“Hey, Blake. Did you hear? The fair is coming to town in a few weeks. You in?” Blake looked up from the book she was reading. Ilia stood before her, one hand on her hip.

“I don't know, Ilia.” She said, finally. “I might be busy.” Ilia frowned.

“Nope. You're coming and you're gonna have a blast.” Blake shook her head, laughing. Ilia could be so persistent sometimes. She begrudgingly agreed.

“Great!” Ilia said, brightly. “And you can invite Ember.” Blake's heart twisted in her chest. She had told her friends about Ember and shown them their emails and ever since then they had been pushing for her to try and reach out.

“Ilia,” Blake said, exasperated. “We've been over this. She blocked me. I have no clue who she could be and no way to contact her. No matter how badly I want to.” She added.

A wry smile spread across Ilia's face. “There's one thing you haven't tried yet.”

Blake raised an eyebrow. “What's that?”

“BeaconSecrets.”

* * *

After three weeks of agonizing over the decision, three weeks of her friends encouragement and three weeks of no sleep, Blake was doing it. She was crafting her letter to Ember that she would post on BeaconSecrets. She just hoped that by posting it the day of, she wouldn't be too late.

_Ember,_

_I'm not sure really where to begin. My nerves are shot and my heart is racing just typing this. I don't even know if you'll read this. But I have to hope. I have to try. I have to be brave._

_A lot of shit has went down in these past few months. I know I've done things that I'm not proud of and I can only you have too. I won't say what but I think you know. At first I was mad at you and then I was sad but know I get it. I understand and I don't blame you. Because I know you._

_I may not know what you look like in person but I know who you are as a person. I know you are funny and kind. I know you're parents are divorced and you want to try and rekindle your relationship with your mom. I know you love your sister more than anything in the world. I know you choose your words carefully when writing to me. I know you have an addiction to watching fun cat videos. I know you cry every time at the end of Tangled. I know you have a secret love for musicals. And I know you've been hiding for so long that if feels like you can't stop. But Ember, I know that you deserve to be loved. In a grand gesture of romance, heart souring, soulmate type of way._

_And I do. I love you. I love you because through our emails, everything you did and do, made me want to have you. Not in a possessive way but as equals. That's how I want to meet you, as equals._

_Tonight I'll be at the fair with my friends. No pressure for you to show up but if you do, you'll know where to find me. Let's meet on top of the world. Because you deserve a great love story._

* * *

The parking lot was crowded but eventually Blake found a place to park her car and the four of them all got out and began their trek. The night air was chilly and Blake shivered as light breeze blew. The fair was in an odd section of town and they had to walk up a hill to reach it. By the time they reached the crest of the hill, Blake's legs were screaming at her but the sight before her made her forget about the pain she was in.

Laid out before her was the fair, a blur of lights, distant screams and the smell of greasy food in the air.

“You ready?” Weiss asked, beside her. Blake took a deep breath in, “As I'll ever be.”

The girl in the vendor booth blinked in surprise when Sun slapped down thirty dollars on the counter, asking for as many tickets that his money could cover, but she handed them over without a word.

Time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once. Blake felt as if she was in a daze, watching everything happen around her; Sun with his arms full of tickets, the purple and blue lights that danced across the area, Weiss and Ilia with their arms linked. Everything snapped back into focus once they arrived at the ferris wheel.

She gratefully took the tickets from Sun, handing them over to the carnie with an awkward grin. “Until they run out,” she explained and the man just gestured to the open seat.

It was happening. Blake turned to her friends, nerves buzzing and grinned nervously.

“We're right behind you, Blake.” Weiss said, solemnly.

“Always,” Added Ilia. Sun nodded.

“Right,” Blake breathed out. “Let's do this.” She gave them a finger gun and slid into the seat. The carnie slid the latch and into place and this was it. The moment of truth. If Ember would show up or not. She wanted, needed Ember to show but she would understand it if she didn't. Coming out was terrifying, no matter what. Blake wouldn't blame her if she didn't come. But it didn't stop Blake from wanting. She had made a promise to herself. If the outcome was negative, if Ember didn't show, Blake knew what she would do. She would move on. She couldn't spend the rest of her time in high school mourning the loss of what could have been. She didn't want to be in love with someone that couldn't have.

But she really wanted this story to have a happy ending. She was done living in a world where she didn't get to be who she was. She was bisexual. She liked both men and women and she wasn't going to deny it.

The ferris wheel jerked to life and with it Blake's nerves. Her friends cheered as she ascended into the air and with it her heart.

“Get your girl!” Sun shouted and Blake buried her face into her hands, embarrassed.

_I'm the kind of person who's destined to care so much about on person that it nearly kills me._

Blake wasn't a casual person. She couldn't do hookups or flings. She fell and when she fell it was hard. She was in it for life and god did she want to be with Ember for life.

_Have you ever been in love?_

She was. She is. She will be. She might not know what Ember looks like, what race she is, what body shape, what hair color or eye color Ember has but Blake felt the love for her nonetheless flowing through her veins. It's like oxygen, she needed it to breathe.

Blake began her decent and with it came spikes of fear stabbing her gut. What if she didn't show? Despite the promise she made to herself, Blake knew deep inside that she couldn't just forget about Ember. They had been through too much.

Blake had been met with disappointment after disappointment, had the rug pulled out from under her, had the floor drop out beneath her feet so many times that she wasn't sure if she could do it again.

As she sailed up, her friends cheered for her. The sound made her heart lift. Her friends had faith, so could she. For a round, Blake rested her head on the metal safety bar, her mind whirling and doubt came creeping in. What if she had been too vague? What Ember was somewhere else, waiting for someone who would never show?

Eventually, Blake lost count of how many times she went around. Over and over and over again, seemingly all night long.

_You deserve everything you want._

Being bisexual didn't mean she wasn't worthy of love. She deserved a great love story. She deserved someone she could share her life with. She had been holding her breath all her life and this is the moment where she gets to exhale.

_I wouldn't change a single thing about you._

Blake wouldn't change a single thing about everything that went down. Sure, she faced a lot of shit and hit rock bottom, her own personal hell. But, she had bounced back and was stronger than ever. She wouldn't let Adam control her. She wouldn't let the fear of others control her. She was taking back her life, putting the control back into her own hands.

_Come on, Ember. Please. Please._

The ferris wheel grounded to a stop. Blake opened her mouth to tell the carnie to keep going but she was cut off.

“That was your last ticket, sweetheart,” The carnie said. “Sorry.”

Her stomach dropped. Had Ember really not shown? Had she gotten her hopes up just for them to be crushed? Blake turned her gaze to her friends. Ilia had buried her face in her hands. Sun looked furious and Weiss looked as if she was about to cry.

Ember hadn't come. It was over.

A voice rung out. “ _Wait_! Wait!” A crowd had formed since she had first gotten on, no doubt people from school wanting to see what would happen. The crowd ruffled and shuffled until finally a figure emerged from the depths. Blake's voice caught in her throat. She couldn't believe her eyes. There was no way. No way that they were here.

“Adam.” He stood, panting before her and the carnie, one hand digging into his pockets. “I thought I told you to stay-”

“I know,” He said, cutting her off. “But actions speak louder than words, right? Here's my apology. One final ride. How much?” He asked the carnie.

“Four-” Adam shoved a handful of dollars at the man.

“Tickets. Okay, whatever, kid.” He said, tiredly. Adam turned his gaze back to Blake.

Blake snorted. “Just because you paid for my last ride doesn't mean I'll forgive you. What you did was inexcusable, Adam.”

Adam nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I know but this Ember person sounds like a superhero. And I think that after everything you've been through, you deserve a goddamn superhero.” Adam melted back into the shadows of the crowd.

The carnie let out a long, tired sigh, no doubt wondering what teenage bullshit he had gotten himself into. “Last call for the ferris wheel,” He called out. The crowd murmured and shifted. People glanced around, craning their necks. The tension was so thick Blake felt that she could cut it with a knife.

“I can't watch,” She heard Sun say and watched as he covered his eyes.

Blake dropped her eyes to her shoes. The left one had a hole in it. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take looking out into their crowd for someone that would never come. All those months, all that buildup was coming crashing down on her in a burning fiery mess. Maybe she didn't deserve love.

Gasps and whispers rippled through the crowd.

“Is this seat taken?”

Blake raised her eyes. Standing in front of her, right before her was-

“Yang?” She breathed. Yang was dressed in a faded yellow shirt with a beige jacket thrown on top with matching pant and dark combat boots. Her hair was ruffled from the wind and there was a bright glow about her.

“I'm, uh, kind of waiting for someone. Someone important,” Blake forced out and the side of Yang's mouth quirked up.

“Yeah,” She said. “I know.”

Yang sat down next to Blake and before she ever knew what was happening the metal safety bar was being snapped into place. Blake's mind whirled and whirled until finally stopped on the only explanation that made sense as for why Yang was sitting beside her.

“It’s you,” Blake whispered, amazement stitched into every syllable. She had written off Yang being Ember so long ago. It didn't seem possible for Yang to be here.

Yang nodded. “It's me,” She confirmed. Blake didn't have the right words to describe how she felt. The wild skip of her heart, her stomach churning, the intense feeling in her chest. Until finally, she recognized it for what it was. Happiness. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated happiness and bliss.

Her mind began making the connection, putting the dots together. Her being Jewish, the holiday break, every email sent, all of it. A tiny piece of information nagged at the back of her mind, something still didn't add up. Something that didn't make sense.

“That night,” Blake began, slowly. “At the party. I walked in on you and that girl kissing.” Yang grimaced her words.

“Yeah.” She laughed awkwardly. “That was Nora. She had been curious for a long time and always thought I was hot. It ended like a minute after you left. But, I swear, I never would have done it if I was sober. And,” Yang's face turned pink. “The whole time we were kissing…I was thinking about you.”

Heat rushes to Blake's face and she had to look away. The two of them fell into silence until Blake blurted out, “So, you're Jewish?” Yang threw her head back and laughed. It was a wonderful sound.

“I am,” She finally said, a hint of laughter still in her voice. “I'm half Chinese, too.”

“Which is cool,” Blake said with a wry grin. Yang took a deep breath.

“And, I’m a lesbian.” An awkward smile spread across Yang's face. “Kinda crazy, right?”

Blake shook her head. “Not at all. I mean, I didn't even know if you were coming.”

Yang nodded, solemnly. “I didn't either until I found myself walking towards you. But I'm glad I did. I'm really, really glad.”

Yang smiled and it was like the sun was shining down on the two of them, despite the darkness of the night that covered them.

The ferris wheel grumbled and they rose up into the sky. It was almost like a movie, the way it happened. They came to a rest at the crest of the ride. Gazing out, Blake could seeing everything. The lights, the other rides, the stands, the people milling around and the crowd that was gathered before their ride. It all felt so small, so meaningless because what really mattered was the girl she was sitting next to.

Their shoulders and knees brushed and with every miniscule touch, Blake felt jolts of electricity pass between them and the hair on the back of her neck stood up

“Are you disappointed that it's me?”

Blake turned to look at Yang in shock. “No,” she said, honestly. “Of course not.”

Electricity buzzed between them as they looked at each other. Blake licked her lips and Yang's gaze dropped to her mouth before looking back into her eyes.

“Can I-Can I kiss you?” Blake said, her voice husky with want. Yang nodded.

“Please,” Yang whispered, her voice filled with yearning.

Blake reached out, cupping Yang's face and leaned forward. Their lips met. Blake had dreamed about kissing Ember. A lot. But nothing compared to this. She was kissing Ember- Yang- for real, not in her dreams, not in her head but for real and it was mesmerizing and exhilarating and breathtaking and real. She felt Yang's warm hand rest on the hand that was cupping her face and Blake felt herself being pulled closer.

The two of them finally broke apart, chests heaving, faces flushed and eyes dilated. Their foreheads touched.

“Wow,” Yang breathed.

“Yeah,” Blake managed, hoarsely. Every nerve in her body was alight, aching, wanting more more more. She wanted it all.

Blake let out a breathy laugh. This was actually happening. It wasn't a dream or a fantasy. It was real. She was getting her happy ending.

Below them, Blake distantly heard the crowd scream their hearts out, scream their support out as if they were at a sporting event.

“I'm not crying, Sun. Shut up!” She heard Weiss sob. Ilia and Sun let out whoops and she saw Ilia jump up and down.

And then, none of it mattered anymore because she was being pulled back into another kiss, and Yang's lips were warm and soft and kissing Yang was like tasting stars and Blake wished she could freeze this moment and live in it forever.

She had never been one to believe in fate, in destiny. It was something in stories, in movies. It wasn't real. But there was something so right, so true about kissing Yang that maybe there was something called fate. Being with Yang, having her heart, felt something like home


	7. Chapter 7

_Three Weeks Later_

The door to the passenger seat of her car swung open and Ilia got in with a smile.

“Good morning,” Ilia said and Blake did a double take. Ilia's neck was covered with a bunch of hickies.

“Holy shit, Ilia. Who did that to you? I'm impressed,” Blake said, backing out of the driveway. Ilia turned red.

“Okay, pot,” Ilia said but offered no explanation. She had a point, she and Yang had been all over each other, often meeting up in the bathroom during class or lunch to make out.

“Sun,” Blake demanded the second the blonde boy got into the backseat. “Have you seen Ilia's neck?” Sun leaned forward to see.

“Damn girl!” He crowed. “You really got it.” Blake shook her head, annoyed. Clearly, Sun would be no help. Maybe Weiss would give her answers.

Blake pulled up to Weiss's house, fingers drumming on the steering wheel as she waited for Weiss to get it. Weiss slid into the middle seat and Blake spun around.

“Weiss Schnee!” Blake said, loudly. “Do you know who did this?” She gestured to Ilia's hickies that covered Ilia's neck. As Blake watched, Weiss's usual neutral expression began to crack and her cheeks began to turn a light shade of pink. Blake gasped. “Who is it?”

In a very small voice, looking at her hands, Weiss said, “Me.” Blake sobered immediately.

“Wait, so the two of you are…”

“Dating, yes,” Ilia said from beside her.

“When did you start?” She asked, gently. “Dating, I mean.”

It was Weiss who spoke. “We confessed the night of the fair. After everything that happened I spent the night at Ilia's and it turned out that we had both been crushing on the other for a while.” Blake raised her eyebrows, asking a silent question.

“I thought Ilia liked Sun,” Weiss explained.

“And _I_ ,” Ilia chimed in. “Thought she liked Sun.” The three girls turned their gazes to Sun who held up his hands.

“Hey,” He protested. “I don't like anyone. Wait. Actually, I don't know. I might like Neptune. He's on the basketball team. He's the one with blue hair that makes those awesome slam dunks. Get back to me later.” The four of them laughed, easily.

“Well,” Blake said, looking between Weiss and Ilia. “I love you both and I'm proud of you. You're cute together.” Ilia turned red and Blake headed toward the coffee shop.

Her mind was spinning. Was she really that oblivious to have missed it? Her mind replayed the events that occurred over the last several months. Ilia knowing that Weiss wanted honey in her drink, Ilia's mood change when Sun put an arm around Weiss, Ilia’s reaction to Weiss's halloween costume, the two of them dancing together, the little touches between them, Weiss reaction when Ilia said she and Sun went out, the banter which now that she thinks about it was probably flirting. Oh gods, she was so oblivious.

Finally, they reached the coffee shop. They were such frequent regulars that the woman at the window knew exactly what they wanted.

“Oh-” Blake said, causing the woman to pause. “Along with our regular orders, could we also get an extra iced coffee?” She nodded and they only had to wait a minute before Blake was being handed the order. She passed it to Ilia to hold and then they were on their way.

Finally they reached Yang's house. It was a small house, quaint with freshly planted flowers in the front yard.

Blake let out a nervous sigh as Ilia unbuckled and moved to the backseat, sitting next to Weiss. Ilia handed out the orders to Weiss and Sun and herself before passing the rest up to Blake. Blake placed the drinks in the cup holders. She looked at herself in the mirror, fluffing up her hair and bangs before adjusting the bright yellow shirt she had on.

“You look fine, Blake,” Sun spoke from the backseat. Ilia nodded and Weiss, with her head on Ilia's shoulder, flashed a thumbs up.

“Thanks, guys.” She said and not a moment later did the passenger door open and there she was. Yang. Looking as stunning as ever, in a purple sundress with her hair done up. _Her looks could rival the sun itself_ , Blake thought.

Yang gave her a bashful grin. “Hi, baby.” The words were soft, filled with love and Blake could only reach across the console to take Yang's face in her hands and kiss her gently. When they pulled apart, Blake handed Yang her cup of iced coffee before plugging in her phone to the aux cord.

Immediately the car erupted into chaos with everyone shouting requests, before Blake said loudly, “Yang gets to pick what we listen to.”

Yang let out a whoop, pressing a kiss to Blake's cheek as the backseat erupted once more into chaos.

“That's not fair!” Ilia shouted.

“She's my girlfriend.” Blake countered.

“I'm your girlfriend,” Yang sang with a cheesy grin and Blake gazed at her with loving eyes.

“And what about it?” Weiss said. “Ilia and I are girlfriends, too.”

“But you're not Blake's. And, congrats to both of you.” Yang responded and Blake raised her eyebrows.

“You knew?” Yang nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “They were so obvious.”

“Jesus christ,” Blake swore, running her forehead. Yang laughed and poked her cheek in apology and turned up the music.

“ _You attack my heart, you attack my heart_.”

In the backseat, Sun groaned. “Not LOONA.”

Yang spun around in her seat to face him. “The L in LGBT stands for LOONA, you insolent prick. If you say something bad about them, you're lesbophobic.” She threatened, jokingly. In the middle seat, Weiss laughed and Sun flicked her forehead causing Ilia to reach over and pinch him.

"Besides," Blake added. "You can't say shit. Last Halloween, you literally dressed up as Naurto." 

"He's an important figure in anime history!" Sun protested over the laughter.

The song changed. “ _It feels like a dream that's come true, my head starts to buzz and my heart fills with love over you_.” Out of the corner of her eye, Blake saw Yang turn to her and sing along. Blake smiled and joined in with Yang, goofy smiles on both of their faces.

One hand dropped from the steering wheel as Blake drove and she immediately felt Yang's hand slid into it, their fingers interlacing. Blake squeezed Yang's hand and Yang squeezed back.

It was nice, really nice. To be able to do something as simple as hold hands without having the weight of fear pressing down on her chest. She wasn't dumb, she knew that while the world was getting better, there was still a long for them to go. There was still hate that could cause them to become victims of violence but in that moment, all she wanted to do was focus on was the feeling of safety and happiness.

“Hey,” Blake said, suddenly seized by an idea. “What do you say if we skip school and instead go on a little adventure?” They only had a few weeks left of school anyways. She was met with cheers that she look to mean as yes and immediately switched lanes and headed in the direction of the highway. Blake rolled down the windows and soaked everything in. Her friends laughter, music blaring, wind in her hair and Yang's hand in hers.

Blake had always been quiet, someone who preferred to watch as opposed to interacting. But that meant, she saw and heard things that others normally wouldn't. She had always thought of it as a superpower and right now wasn't an exception. Something ached in her stomach, a wanting, a want for her to pause this moment and keep it in her pocket like a letter. Something she could read over and over again.

She grinned wryly to herself. She liked that idea and after all, her life had been filled with letters. Ones she had sent and ones she had gotten. If, somehow, her present day self, was writing to Ember again, she wouldn't use a pseudonym. She wouldn't sign it with a lie, a half truth. She would sign the letter with the full truth, her whole heart. She would sign it...

_Love,_

_Blake._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand that's a wrap! Thank you so much for everyone of your comments and kudos! They've meant more than words can say! I hope you have managed to catch references, big or small, to tv shows or music. 
> 
> I know there are some pretty damn amazing authors in this fandom (explosivesky, pugoata, etc) but it means the world to me that some of you decided to read this self indulgent fic. 
> 
> Lots of love to you and Happy Pride!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


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